


The Chemicals Between Us

by ObsidianRomance



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, Gore, Horror, M/M, OMC death, Scientist Jared, Survival, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombie Jensen, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 17:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3298790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidianRomance/pseuds/ObsidianRomance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared's world has turned upside down when the dead are starting to outnumber the living. He's smart enough to survive and smart enough that one of the largest survival groups in the world risks their life to save him. Because Jared might just be able to figure out what causes the zombie virus. And with freshly turned zombie, Jensen, at his disposal, he's steps closer to finding a cure. The problem is, does it come at the cost of his own humanity or will Jensen be able to teach him that being human has nothing to do with biological makeup.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Chemicals Between Us

**Author's Note:**

> **Artist:[Liliaeth](http://liliaeth.livejournal.com/)** ([Master Post](http://liliaeth.livejournal.com/475466.html)) Thank you so much for being patient with me and not giving up on me. I am so sorry for how erratic my contact was. But I love zombies and I love your art and I thank you for doing such hard work.  
>  **Beta** : [YohKoBennington](http://yohkobennington.livejournal.com/) Thank you so much for stepping in during my time of desperation.  
>  **Pairing(s):** Jared and Jensen - mostly gen but there is a hint of J2 to come if you want it to be there. (I do....)
> 
> Also - This was written for [The Supernatural Reversebang](http://spn-reversebang.livejournal.com/) Thank you so much for organizing this!

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/85421651@N04/16454451285)

Jared never thought his life would end up like this. Not even when he was young and had a head full of day dreams. Not when he grew up and made a ten year plan. Not even when the world started to go to shit and he wasn’t ignorant enough to believe it would get better.

But he’s here now and the journey to where he’s standing right now is easily traced even if he didn’t see it coming.

His ten year plan is probably the reason he’s even surviving right now. His gut makes him mourn the fact that what he’s doing is even considered surviving in today’s world. It seems so much lower. But he’d been dominating med school for the few years before hell broke loose and he supposes that’s why his ass was saved ahead of some of the other people he once called peers.

His head is killing him, pounding in places where he didn’t realize it could. He supposes it’s the lack of sleep and food reminding him that his body needs to exist on more than adrenaline and sheer will power. But he has things to do, things Dead Corp is keeping him alive for. He has to earn his keep or he will be in for a downgraded version of survival.

“Jared?” A woman with a pixie cut pokes her head around the corner of Jared’s makeshift workstation. “Doc Theo is going to want to see some progress soon. You got anything to show them? ‘Cause…things are getting worse out there…and…you know…people in here are getting more than antsy about the fact that we seem like we’re sitting on our asses and waiting for this shit storm to pass.” She gives an exhausted sigh and steps closer to Jared.

“Yeah, Jeanie. I know. I’m trying. I…I think I’ve got something but…I can’t tell…it’s not like any of _them_ can tell me how they’re feeling or what would make this all disappear like a 24 hour bug.” Jared spins in his worn swivel hair and rubs his temples. When he grasps a moment to truly take in Jeanie’s form, he realizes she’s more run down than he is and he can’t help but feel a sense of comradery. Whatever version of hope everyone bunkering down at the Dead Crops compound is holding onto, he thinks they’re all gunning for the same outcome. They’re all in this together, whether they want to be or not, and while he may have a beef with some of the muscle Dead Corps uses to get things done, they have to stick together or die in the aftermath of falling apart. “You look like shit.”

“You do too,” Jeanie says with a snort. “When’s the last time you washed your hair?”

“Probably the same time you did.” He runs a hand though his hair and gets what she’s talking about. It’s greasy from a week of not washing it but clean water isn’t something that needs to be wasted on hair. “I…I think I’ve got something here. You want to check it out?” Tapping his calculations, Jared chews on the end of his pencil.

Jeanie leans forward on the desk, her eyes bouncing around the scribbles Jared has spent hours making. “Holy….” Her words trail off into a whistle. “You…you think…”

Jared finishes for her. “Think it will work? I have no fucking clue but if Theo gives me the okay to try…maybe we’ll find out. I don’t know how the dead function. There isn’t a med school in the country that’s written the curriculum on what to do when the newly dead decided not to stay so dead. By all means, anything I’ve learned in college is shit just because of the sheer fact that corpses seem to have more energy than my grandmother.” Truthfully? Jared has no idea if his plan will work. He hasn’t actually been able to study many of the zombies that Dead Corps brings in because the muscle keep Jared, the brains, away from things that can kill him. Aside from watching how quickly a bullet can take a zombie to the ground, Jared’s only hands on experience with zombies is dissecting their doubly dead bodies and brains. What he finds is surprising. The organs aren’t as rotted as the outside. In fact, most of them stay preserved until they are inflicted with wounds their body seems incapable of healing. It’s curious but until he can figure out how the insides of a zombie function while he isn’t dead…truly dead and still….then he can’t begin to formulate something that might give them a glimpse into how to stop this shit storm. “Jean, their organs work. You stimulate them with an electric pulse and they…they’re alive.”

“Fuck, Jared. You sound like a cheesy ass horror movie. They’re alive!” She mocks. “Are you not seeing what’s been taking over the world for the last few months? Did you forget the militia that plucked us out of med school in hope that a bunch of twenty-something geniuses would hold the world’s salvation? Those _things_ are dead. They’re not living human beings again.”

Jared _didn’t_ forget that. He can’t. The images of the world crumbling around him fill his nightmares and clench like lead ropes around his heart. He remembers watching the whole zombie epidemic start. Remembers hearing his mother’s voice as she called him, telling him that his father was bitten…infected…and that he’d died instantly. Only, Jared had still been on the line with her when his father turned out to be not-so-dead and tore his mother’s throat out, her blood curdling screams traveling clearly to Jared’s end of the line. That was only the beginning. It got far worse but those are still the images he has when he closes his eyes and hears the phantom noises of the dead when he’s lying in his bunk. “They’re…” Jared pauses, looking for the right world. “Dead-ish,” he hesitates. “They’re clearly not dead, not in the way we’ve always defined it. They’re kind of dead but they’re also kind of alive.”

“Well your ‘kind-of’ genius ass better figure out why or how because we’re running out of food here and there are too many of us to move on without definitive casualties.” She slaps him on the back and turns without another word.

Jared doesn’t remember Jeanie being such a pessimist back when the world was normal but he supposes watching your boyfriend be dismembered in front of you and seeing everything you’ve ever been taught unravel before your eyes would do that to a person. And it’s true what she said. He knows it. He’s seen the way the higher ups are grasping at straws and trying to keep everything in order. The levee’s going to break and Jared doesn’t want to be there when it does.

There are thousands of dead outside, miles of them between Dead Corps and the next human survivor compound. He supposes Dead Corps is doing the dirty work that other’s aren’t strong enough to do now that natural laws mean shit. And he does accredit the fact that he’s alive to them. He owes them a chance at finding a cure or at least a way to end things. But the medical facility they’ve provided him with is ancient and the tools look less than human.

But maybe none of that matters if the specimens Dead Corps is asking him to work on are deemed sub-human.

***

“Jared!”

Jared jolts and almost falls off his chair, thinking maybe he fell asleep or maybe he’s just drifting off from the cold. He’s tucked into an oversized hoodie, looking more like a kid than a prodigy who’s trying to save the world. He blinks his eyes rapidly to clear the haze he’s lost in and feels his heart rate jolt from being startled.

Theo’s tall form is looming over him, the angle exaggerating his height and making him exceedingly cruel looking for someone who’s charged with the wellbeing of hundreds. “Jared,” he repeats.

“Wha’?” Eyes darting around the suddenly filled room, Jared tries to assess the reason for urgency in Theo’s voice.

“We need you. Got you that guinea pig you’ve been asking for.”

Jared’s brain is still too slow to figure out what he’s hearing. All he sees are images of rodents and pets that don’t exist in the lifestyle Dead Corps people have now. “The wha’?”

Theo grabs Jared’s elbow and jerks him up none too gently. “The test subject you’ve been going on and on about.”

“Oh.” The sound leaves Jared’s mouth as something weak and small. Weeks ago, when he asked for a test subject, it was just a request. A dream. Now, it’s a reality. A person. A dying person who’s going to be dead-ish soon enough. Fear breaks out in Jared’s gut and a cold sweat works its way over his body. He’s moving along with Theo, being shoved through the corridors of the facility and tripping over his feet.

He doesn’t have much time to process anything or ready himself for a medical endeavor. During his residency, he’d have rules and organization and things that need to be done to make sure his data isn’t corrupt. Now he’s got a light bulb swinging wildly overhead and medical tools that may or may-not be clean. And there are a lot of people crammed into the small area. Jeanie’s there and so are a few of the other doctors and nurses. It seems like a normal emergency room, full of chaos and barked orders. The glaringly obvious difference is the fact that Dead Corps best marksmen all have the muzzles of their guns trained on the seemingly still person lying flat on his back in the middle of the room.

“Do something before your miss whatever window you’re aiming for,” Theo says and shoves Jared forward.

Jared stumbles into the room, people clearing the way for him like he’s the root cause of the plague itself.

For all the illness Jared’s dealt with, Jared realizes he has never been presented with something so toxic and perilous as whatever is multiplying under the unconscious man’s skin. Instinct kicks in and Jared lays a shaky hand on the man, searching for signs of life. They are there, weak and struggling, but the man’s heart is still beating, despite the giant bite on his forearm where his skin has pulled apart in messy tendrils. His skin is warm and cool all at the same time and Jared feels himself beginning to panic. He doesn’t know if he can do what needs to be done because it’s a death sentence for the man, or at least a death sentence for the life he’s living now.

Time blurs because he has to work fast. He’s seen the change come over people before even though he wishes he didn’t. He knows the fever that is radiating of the man’s skin is only going to become worse and the shallow breathing is going to become erratic before it stops all together.

When the man’s eyes flutter open and lock on Jared, he’s almost knocked on his ass from the shock of it. He wasn’t expecting true signs of life and intelligence, but they’re there in the green, very human, eyes staring at him. The man looks terrified and pained.

“What…I…” The man tries to swallow and get more words out but nothing in his brain is allowing him to make sense of the situation. “Where?” He tries to move but too many men using more force than necessary, slam him back down on the table. He crocks out, “help.” There are a handful of men in the room but he’s talking directly to Jared; that much is clear.

“I…” but Jared doesn’t have an answer, at least not the one the man is looking for.

The man on the table struggles against those restraining him, too much strength for someone Jared through was an hour away from death. He gets the butt of a gun to his temple and goes down with a thud.

Jared thinks for a second he’s dead and that this whole experiment is a bust, but he gets his hands on the man’s pulse and finds a weak thump under the skin. Jared has enough time to throw a disgust snarl at the officer who knocked the dying man unconscious before wondering if maybe the act was a merciful one. He doesn’t have time to think about it because now he’s running on fleeting amount of time and he’s not going to let this opportunity to slip through his fingers.

Dead Corps has people willing to raid every hospital in the area for their cause, so while the room might not be the most sterile, it’s stocked with an arsenal of medical equipment and supplies. The generators that are keeping the compound alive are more than enough to keep Jared’s small experimental endeavor going. He’s hoping to hell that they can keep the CPB pump going.

He’s afraid this isn’t going to work.

He’s terrified it is.

Licking his lips, he looks the people over, scanning for someone he thinks can handle the messy parts of keeping their unwilling test subject alive. “You,” he says, pointing to a man he’s worked with before, Kyle. “I need you to help me with the cardiopulmonary bypass.”

No one questions him or really says much at all. Jared finds himself ripping the man’s shirt off, and then it’s like he blacks out. He’s lost to his work and he swears it’s like he’s floating above his body, watching himself search for and finally locate the man’s right atrium so he can place a cannula in it. He has an assistant but he finds himself doing everything, multitasking likes he’s never done before because he _wants_ to help. He wants to help the man with those green eyes and he already know that panicked gaze is going to join his collection of nightmares.

The CPB pump is in place and doing its job. It’s keeping the man’s blood oxygenated and circulated, keeping his brain alive. The man is so deep into the realm of unconsciousness that he doesn’t even twitch from what Jared and Kyle are doing to him. That fact makes Jared feel like he’s going to lose his lunch all over the floor. Whatever has been done to their test subject, no one deserves to drown in that much pain.

“Life support?” Kyle asks, looking a little green from all the blood on his and Jared’s hands and getting stuck on that same blood flowing through the pump.

Jared nods. He wipes his hands on a grimy towel and tries to find his words.

“That guy…he’s a goner. You’re wasting supplies. Life support isn’t going to stop the disease from winning.”

“No, I know that,” Jared says, eyes looking through Kyle to the man laying in a bloody mess on the table. He’s on a respirator now, oxygen being forced into his lungs and pumps giving him no choice in the matter of breathing or not. Curiosity gets the best of Jared. For all the promises he made to himself to keep the dead and the dead-ish separate from the living, he wants to know whose blood he just stained his skin with. “Who is he?”

Kyle shrugs, “dunno. Higher ups didn’t tell me. Pulled me in here and said they needed all hands on deck.” He twists and pats down the threadbare jeans the test subject is wearing. He comes up with a wallet and tosses it to Jared. “Old habits die hard. No one’s needed one of those in a long time.”

Jared catches the wallet. He doesn’t need the unconscious man to tell him why he’s carrying one on him. Jared’s got one too, tucked into his back pocket where he slips it every morning. It’s not about money or credit cards but it’s about a sense of identity. It’s what adults do. He gets that the wallet it more than leather and currency. It’s about holding an ID, maybe a drivers license, a reminder of a time when those things mattered. Flipping it open, he comes face to face with those green eyes that are burned into his memory. Only the version he’s looking at don’t look panicked at all. They’re warm and smiling, plush healthy lips giving a half smirk in the small photo on his Texas driver’s license. “Texas…” Jared muses out loud. The man’s a long way from home, but then again, so is Jared. He reads the man’s name, somehow relived in knowing it so that he doesn’t have to call the man a guinea pig anymore. “Jensen.” He tests the name out on his tongue, looking over at the owner.

“Found him on the outskirts of the compound. He’s not one of ours. Looks like he’s been going at it alone. Had a small arsenal on him in a duffel bag. Can’t say I’m sorry to have confiscated that.” The guard who had spoken lets out a snort of a laugh. “He was bitten like that when we found him. We tracked him for a while till he became delirious. Fell to the ground and didn’t put up much of a fight in being dragged here. Why does any of this matter? Guys a dead man. He’da been better off if we put a bullet in his brain.”

The word brain makes Jared click his tongue. “That’s the thing…the brain. The brain…it works, even when they’re dead. The zombies…their brain works but it’s damaged.”

“Of course it’s damaged,” the guard scoffs. “It’s real fucking damaged.”

“Damaged because of oxygen deprivation,” Jared takes a seat on the edge of a table. The room is eerily silent, only the sounds of the pump and the respirator whirling through the thick air. He’s running the show here and everyone keeps looking to him for answers and sharing worrisome glances over to Jensen. “See, if the brain is damaged, the body can’t operate properly. When people get infected, they die, truly die, for a good ten minutes before their body comes to life again. There is no oxygen getting to their organs, including their brain. They should be brain dead but their limbs move and they get up again. But think about the way they act? They don’t have reasoning or problem solving skills, not even the basic forms. There is not retention. They don’t learn. It’s like there are no thoughts aside from going after us. What I’m thinking is that maybe we can keep the brain going with machine long enough to keep it oxygenated.” He looks over at Jensen and gives a heavy sigh. “That man _will_ die. He’ll be at the point where his blood will still and his heart will stop beating when we pull the plug on the CPB pump. He’ll be dead. But he’ll get up again. This time, I’m hoping he – _Jensen_ – will get up again with some semblance of who he was before this disease wiped away half of the planet. Maybe, if we keep the brain alive, we have a chance of figuring out how the zombie virus works. How it spreads.”

Theo licks his lips from the outskirts of the room. “Kid, you’re crazy or brilliant. I’m hoping for brilliant since it cost me half of my best men to get your pretty little brain under my care.”

Jared rolls his eyes hard enough to pull a muscle. He doesn’t like the tone Theo has, the way he speaks like he owns Jared, like Jared’s idea belongs to Dead Corps in some way. It bolsters him with a sense of indignation as he wipes his bloody hands on his pants, leaving messy streaks in his fingers’ wake. “It’ll work.”

“Keep me posted,” Theo says, closer to Jared’s face than necessary before he high tails it out of the room. Without his presence filling the spaces in the room, there is an eerie silence that creeps in. The only thing that cuts through it is the sound of the machines keeping Jensen on the edge of the living mingling with the distant noise from the medley of generators powering the place.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jared can’t escape the smell of the man’s blood and gasoline. They burn inside him and he wonders for a brief second if he’s any better than the monster Jensen was doomed to become. He’s sacrificing Jensen for Dead Corps’ own shot at survival. The man is a dead man either way, but Jared could have put him out of his misery. He could have prevented him from becoming something else, from losing himself. But he didn’t.

The world makes no sense any more. If the zombies are the monsters, then he supposes he’s just trying to help humanity. But if this experiment works, if he finds out there are more to zombies than just the decimation of the human race, that there is a survival instinct behind their dead eyes, then he is dooming the whole world to a war between subspecies.

Licking his lips, he drags a dinged up metal chair towards Jensen’s bed and spins it so that he can straddle the seat and rest his chin on the top of the chair back. Jared know that it takes a long time to die for people like Jensen, people who had determination and survival burning in their eyes.

He’s got all the time in the world.

And the world, as it turns out, might be a ticking time bomb.

***

Images and colors spin and twist. Synapses snap. There are blinding flashes of white and even more intense obliteration of everything.

Sounds crackle and the pain screams through all of it.

Jensen is tumbling, falling so fast that his stomach lurches and there is bile in the back of his mind and blood in his nostrils. He’s torn inside out and back again.

There is a scream but it couldn’t possibly be from his throat because it doesn’t feel human and it sounds even worse.

Colors come back again and fade out just as quickly. The pulse in his chest is there and then gone, silent before being forced into erratic beats and he’s gagging or gasping; they all feel the same.

There are noises and yelling. Beeping and shouting. Jensen hears all of it and none of it.

He feels hot and cold, but on top of that he feels _sick_. He feels like his stomach just folded in on itself and nothing can ever be alright again. Nothing can make it right.

Except for the hunger. It’s the type of hunger that makes whatever blood that’s left in his system boil. It consumes him and crushes him and his body shuts down.

For one blissful second there isn’t anything left but that. His heart is losing a battle and time feels like it’s frozen.

Then everything shatters and his world is dossed with pain. His head is killing him as pressure explodes and crawls through every fold in his brain.

He screams again, this time certain that he is the one making the pained animal noise.

There are hands on him, holding him down and he fights them because it’s all he’s been doing for months.

He wants to open his eyes but his body won’t react to him. By the time he manages to figure it out, he’s screaming again. His fingers twitch and he wants to squeeze his hands around his head to counteract the pressure but they’re chained down.

He can’t form words so the screaming will have to do. His eyes present him with a whole new world, one that doesn’t make much sense to him. The visuals are blurring in and out, and there are faces in front of him.

A face floats in front of him and shouts, “Jensen!” He thinks he knows what that word means. His brain feels like it is on fire but if he could put out the flames enough, he might know what the word means.

He might be able to remember.

He might be able to think if he could just get something to eat. He’s so damn hungry and he _wants_. He just _wants_ something to make it go away. Snapping his teeth, he thinks taking a bite of the visions – the people – moving in front of him would make the pain go away.

Without that, he thinks he is going to die.

Maybe he’s dying already.

It’s the only feasible deduction when pain explodes across every dying cell in his body and he slams backwards and goes rigid.

***

When Jensen first started thrashing on the table, Jared had almost fallen off of his chair. Despite how much was hinging on the experiment that Jared was knee deep in, minutes had turned into hours and Jared’s head drooped more than once. Now there is enough commotion to hurl Jared into full consciousness.

He’s not alone in the room for long, some of Dead Corps’ muscle file into the room, guns expertly trained on Jensen’s forehead. Jared shoves past them, knocking the muzzle of one of their guns away with the back of his hand. The men have been known to be trigger happy when anything zombie related is involved, and though Jared can’t blame them, he really doesn’t need them mucking things up before they even figure out if the experiment was a success. “Cool it, Jeremy,” he barks and glares.

Jeremy curls his lip. “You’re lucky I was specifically ordered not to let that thing eat your sorry hide. Otherwise? I’d be happy to let the man have a last meal before target practice.” He points the gun at Jensen again and dares Jared to say something.

Jared doesn’t have time for this. He calls for Kyle before taking a step towards Jensen. The name rolls around in his head and he wishes he didn’t know it. He wishes that Jensen was simply “Experiment A” so he could have stayed detached from humanity. Now, however, that he knows the name, he can’t stop himself.

“Jensen?” he calls with a hint of fear in his voice.

The man on the bed snaps his head towards Jared and looks at him with blind eyes. For a moment he is calm and then he yells, teeth gashing through the air before his head is thrown back in what looks to be pain.

“Jensen!” Jared tries again. He gets closer and realizes the man is convulsing, almost like he’s having a seizure. His vitals are all over the place, gone and then omnipresent. It defies all medical logic but Jared’s eyes are not lying to him. Jensen dies and jolts back to life before repeating the process. He’s screaming the entire time, and there is no doubt that he is in pain. Jared’s seen what pain looks like and this is the most extreme example of it.

There is a lot of waiting for Jensen to settle down from clinging to life and giving up on it. It’s violent and Jared’s own heart is pounding so hard that his chest throbs. Kyle is there but he covers his mouth and vomits into a pail, leaving Jared as the only person who is still holding onto his shit.

Jared’s seen people succumb to the virus before but it wasn’t like this. The blame for that goes to the CBP machine trying to force Jensen’s body to cleave to life. Neither Jensen nor the machine wins but they come to some sort of agreement. Jensen goes rigid and all the machines silence themselves. The equipment Jared is working with is archaic but they work enough to let Jared know this isn’t a glitch. His stomach twists in a knot and he thinks it’s over, Theo is going to throw him to whatever monsters did this to Jensen.

“Jen-Jensen?” He says, walking closer and reaching out a hand.

The next moment is a blur. One minute he finds himself reaching out a hand to check Jensen’s neck for a pulse and the next there is a vicious lashing of Jensen’s teeth. Muscle collides with Jared’s side and he ends up on the floor, spinning sideways and looking up to see Jeremy holding the muzzle of his gun against Jensen’s forehead.

Jensen is roped down, the guards made sure of that from the minute they brought the man in, but that doesn’t mean he can’t strain and pull against them. If the machines weren’t telling Jared that his body no longer contained the requirements for life, Jared would have thought he was still human.

Holding himself up on one arm, Jared knows that what he’s looking at isn’t entirely human. Sure, Jensen looks like a man, but the unbridled movements and his unseeing eyes give him the eerie feeling that they’ve entered uncharted territory.

Head still spinning from the fall, Jared can’t find words to yell out and warn Scott, who isn’t as quick on the trigger as Jeremy, that Jensen’s in biting range. A strangled noise escapes his throat but it’s too late, Jensen’s teeth have already gotten a firm grip in the man’s forearm and are making messy shreds of it. Scott screams and loses all composure, pulling away, leaving Jensen with a generous piece of his flesh between hungry teeth.

The cocking of Jeremy’s trigger sends Jared scrambling to his feet. “No! Don’t!” This time, Jared knows what Jensen’s teeth can do and he steers clear of them.

“Don’t tell me to not to shoot! He…he…” Jeremy curses, spittle flying along with it. “Fuck! He bit Scott! Are you fucking crazy Jared! You are supposed to save us all, not kill everyone else in the process.” Jeremy turns the gun on Jared, his usual steady grip going shaky. “You fucking asshole.” His expression tightens and he curses under his breath. “You fucker!”

Scott is screaming in the corner, eyes trained on the fatal wound. “Holy shit!” Panic is evident in every part of him and he crawls backwards, butting his back up against the wall.

The sound in his voice and the pained moans that are replacing Scott’s screaming catch Jeremy’s attention and he pulls the gun away from Jared, letting it fall to his side so he can stomp over towards the man and yank him to his feet by his uninjured arm. Scott tries to fight him off but he doesn’t stand a chance. There is a scuffle as Jeremy drags the man out of the room, they get far enough away that Jared can’t see anything but he hears the resonance of the gun fire and knows exactly what it means.

“Fuck,” Jared mumbles and pushes himself up. Kyle is yelling something about the fact that what they’re doing is crazy but Jared doesn’t stop. He hovers by Jensen’s bed and doesn’t know the next move so he lays in wait. The man is a mess, covering in his own blood and Scott’s. He’s smacking his lips as he tries to lick away all traces of gore around his mouth and loudly chews the piece of flesh he tore off. As Jared watches him, he notices something. It’s like the man is subduing himself with each mashing of his jaw.

He gives it several minutes before trying again. Keeping his voice calm, he holds up an instinctive hand in a sign that he means no harm. “Jensen?”

Jensen’s movements still and he makes jerky attempts to turn toward Jared, searching out the sound of his voice.

“Jensen,” Jared tries again.

This time, Jensen turns towards Jared spot on. He blinks and the blank slate of his face struggles to hold onto an emotion. When it does, it’s several all at once and he can’t settle on just one. The pain is back in his eyes, eyes that now see Jared and they look like they are pleading. He tries his voice and a distressed sound escapes. There is panic now and he scans the room, head whipping around and coming up with nothing to calm him.

“Jensen…My name is Jared. I’m…I’m trying to help you. I…do you know where you are?” Jared realizes he’s throwing a lot of things at the man and slows down. “Jensen? I…” He doesn’t know what to say. The truth would be that he’s using Jensen as a guinea pig but that wouldn’t be the type of calming statement he’s looking for. “I need you to try and think, Jensen. Do you know who you are?”

Jensen thinks he might _be_ Jensen. The more he focuses, the more he’s sure of it. He’s Jensen. Everything in his body hurts again and it’s getting hard to think. He’s Jensen. He’s Jensen. He’s Jensen.

A wave of tightness rips through Jensen and he groans, trying to double over. He tastes blood on his tongue and flashes of what he’d done hit him so hard that he feels sick. His body wants to vomit but he _needs_ the gore he swallowed down. It’s the only thing that clears the fog from his brain and he’s aware enough to find his words. “What’s happening to me?” he gets out in disjointed gravely syllables.

Jared swallows. “I…I don’t know…but we’re going to find out.”

***

There is a fallout for Scott’s misstep. A new wave of security personnel take up residence in the room, armed with more guns that they keep aimed on Jensen, regardless of how many times Jared asks them to put them away because they are just riling Jensen up and making things take longer.

Theo storms into the room, full of malice but everything dies on his tongue when he regards Jensen and notices the man comprehends everything that’s going on. It’s a completely new response from the newly dead and Theo gapes like a fish, choosing to slap Jared on the back before retreating in silence.

Though Jensen can pick up on what going on around him, his tongue feels thick in his mouth and turning his jumbled thoughts into words is more work than it has ever been. Time passes and waves of pain keep crashing into him but he remember things. He remembers who he is. He’s Jensen Ackles, former aeronautics engineer turned survivalist when the world turned to shit. He was supposed to be scouting for shelter after his previous one had been overrun by the dead. What happened after that was a blur. There are snippets he can grab onto but they are messy recollections of being ambushed. He’d tried to outrun them, the zombies’ clumsiness making it an easy task but he’d run into another hoard. The pain that ripped through his arm was nothing compared to what he’s wallowing in now, but he can still feel it. There is red stained gauze around the wound now, and he doesn’t remember how that happened. There are no recollections on how he got here, wherever he is.

“Jensen?” Jared says for the hundredth time, like the word holds the key to keeping Jensen tethered to humanity. Bending closer to the bed, his hazel eyes lock with Jensen’s.

Jensen’s head is pounding but he remembers those eyes. They look like they want to help him and Jensen’s gut tells him that he has to trust Jared. “Everything hurts,” is all he gets out. He’s still secured to the bed but he can move his arms enough to cradle his head in his hands and squeeze. “Arrgh!” The pain throbs and he feels like his brain is in a vice. Nothing feels normal and he can’t figure it out. It feels like he’s going crazy inside his own head because words won’t form.

Jared reaches out, hovering just out of reach for two reasons: he’s terrified and he doesn’t know what to do.

“Don’t,” Jensen snarls. “Don’t touch me…don’t…I…” He wants Jared’s arms, or a piece of his neck…or worse. The thoughts make him sick and he takes a ragged breath, only then realizing that he hadn’t actually been breathing for way too long. The movement is habitual instead of completely necessary. “Holy shit,” he screams, testing his lungs and forcing them to suck down oxygen. He holds it longer than seems possible before an impulse makes him let it out and gulp down another. “Holy shit. I…what’s happening to me?” His eyes burn into Jared and turn to begging. “Everything hurts and I’m _so_ hungry. I…I just…if I could just eat something then maybe it will go away. I…” He gives Jared an earnest plea. “Please?”

Jared scribbles down something on his notebook before pushing away. Food isn’t something he even gets a fair shot at. There is no way he’s going to be able to convince Theo to feed Jensen, especially after Jensen is the reason Scott is in a body bag. But the man in crying out in pain and Jared’s still human enough to react to that. He knows Jeanie has dried fruit stashed in her desk back at the lab, her prize in return for fucking one of the guards. It’s a belittling decision but Jared can’t fault her for it. She’s going to kill Jared if she ever finds out that he stole it but he’s doing it in the name of science.

It’s easier to get to the lab than he thought. He feeds the militia in Jensen’s makeshift hospital room some lie about needing supplies and is in and out before anyone notices. When he returns, Jensen is still cradling his head in his hands and moaning in pain. “Jensen?”

The man’s eyes snap towards Jared.

“I got your something to eat. It’s not much, but it’s something.” He offers a handful of dried fruit to Jensen, dropping them onto his lap quickly so the man can’t grab his wrist. There is no way he’s trusting himself within biting range of Jensen.

“Thank-thank you.” Jensen tries to pick up a piece, dropping it several times because his fingers are inept of doing anything smoothly. When he final gets a piece into his mouth, he chews and the reaction that follows is immediate. Everything that had been hurting him blazes into a new onslaught of torture and he gag, stomach heaving and the chewed fruit is regurgitated in a mess of blood and bile.

Things are a disaster. Jared may have succeeded in keeping Jensen sentient but he’s consumed with pain, completely destroyed by it as his body is wracked with violent shudders.

“I’m so hungry,” Jensen sobs, his words peaking in volume as he goes. “I just need _something_ …I can’t think!” He looks through bloodied hands at Jared. “Kill me. Please? I’m supposed to be dead. Why aren’t I dead?”

“I did this to you,” Jared says under his breath. He thinks he must be crazy for what he’s about to do but he needs has a hunch building in the back of his brain and goes with it. Grabbing a scalpel from tray at his side, he slices a part of his arm that will bleed heavily but heal without any issues. He lets it dibble into an empty styrofoam cup, filling it enough to be a mouthful. Hissing, he slaps a piece of gauze over the self-inflicted wound and bandages it tightly. “Try this,” Jared says, offering the cup to Jensen.

Jensen moves as fast as he can, hands grabbing the cup and he gulps the blood down with loud slurping sounds. It quenches the pain and washes over his insides, immediately dulling incessant need to feed. As he swallows, he feels his brain kicking into gear and even though he realizes that he’s drinking human blood, he doesn’t care. It’s the only thing that makes the pain of dying – of being dead – go away. “What’s wrong with me?” He exhales and the iron taste of Jared’s blood fills his senses again, making him lick at the cup for any last tastes. He’s aware that Jared is watching him curiously, scribbling notes.

“You died,” Jared states. “I…I brought you back.”

Jensen’s eyes look less cloudy than they did a moment ago but he’s still lost.

“Let’s start from the beginning.” Jared flips open his notes to make sure this is really happening. He thought that if he kept the brain going as the disease ran its course, then maybe the victim would be able to survive. Instead, it seems like they are functioning in a sort of limbo. “My name is Jared Padalecki. I was a student once. I’m the best shot at a doctor this compound – the place you’re in right now – has. The reconnaissance team found you outside our boarders. You’d been bitten. Do you remember that?”

“Yeah, I…” Jensen looks at his bandaged wound. “I…I got bit. I died.”

“You did and you didn’t. I hooked you up to a cardiopulmonary bypass machine. A CPB. It’s essentially life support. It kept your brain alive while the virus killed your body.”

“It is a virus then?” Jensen licks his lips again and his stomach clenches.

“Yeah. You probably thought as much, everyone has. It works fast and it kills even faster. I’ve been studying it, along with anyone else who can handle a microscope. What I know is how it kills. What I don’t know is why it makes victims react the way they do. So…I kept your brain a live and – ” Jared is cut off.

“You want me to help you understand? You plugged my brain into – ”

“Not your brain. Your heart,” Jared corrects.

“Whatever. You plugged me into some fucking machine and condemned me to this…this…this pain that won’t stop,” he pounds the heels of his hands into his head and let out a sob. “You did it for what? So I can tell you that I feel like I’m dying? That…death from this virus hurts like hell and all I want to do is rip your throat out and chew on the insides? Oh god,” Jensen groans when he hears his own words. This isn’t him. He’s not this person. But he supposes he _isn’t_ a person anymore. “What am I saying?”

“What are you feeling?” Jared’s logical brain asks.

“Pain. Everything hurts and my head is killing me. And I’m so hungry. The blood helped but I need more…want more. Fuck, what is wrong with me that I want more? I don’t want to become one of _them_ ,” he spits out.

“You’re not. You’re not them. We’re having a conversation. You and me.” Jared puts up a calming hand. “You’re not _them_.” He’s grasping wildly at his next move and decides to take things slow. “I’m going to make sure that you don’t become like them. That’s why we’re here. I want to cure this…if I can. I want to figure out why the virus attacks the body the way it does and why the infected are violent when they reanimate.”

“Am I really dead?” Jensen asks. He doesn’t know what being dead feels like but the stiffness in his muscles and the bogged down weight of his brain doesn’t feel much like living. He’s talking and thinking, so he imagines he’s not completely dead.

“I don’t really know. I need to do some tests to figure this out…I…I need to use you as a test subject, Jensen.”

“Do I have a say in the matter?”

“No. Not really. Dead Corps doesn’t take no for an answer. But I would prefer that you gave me your permission.”

“And you think you can stop this?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. But I am going to try.”

Jensen feels the hunger building up again and wonders if this is how all the infected feel. He lets his mind wander to the countless zombies he killed in the name of survival and remembers their hunger, their never ending determination to feed on something alive. If they all feel this, and he can help Jared stop it, how could he say no? He knows he doesn’t have a choice, but if he did, he’d make the right one. “Okay. Yeah. Do it.” Nodding, he adds, “I can’t promise I won’t try to eat your face.”

There is an uncomfortable silence between them.

“Too soon,” Jensen says, sounding human enough to lessen the tension in the room.

“It will always be too soon,” Jared answers. He smiles anyway. “Thank you. I know you didn’t ask for this but…we can save the world, Jensen.”

***

Even with Jensen’s consent, testing on him is still a nightmare in its own right. The man’s mind may have agreed but his body is riddled with the virus and acting out. Jensen’s still in there somewhere, humanity struggling to keep a firm hold what’s left of his being. Even with the apologies and the warnings, Jensen snarls and gnashes his teeth at Jared and any other human that comes near them. Kyle threw in the towel after a close call and Jared’s stuck with Regina as an assistant. She doesn’t have much muscle, but she’s quicker than Kyle and her gut is iron clad, leaving her immune to the gross-out factor of their work.

Jared finds out that Jensen settles when he gets something living in his stomach. Fresh meat is a commodity in Dead Corps, so in the name of survival, he must call on volunteers to bleed themselves so Jensen stays human enough to cooperate. It’s a harder task than he imagined. No one wants to help the monster that’s smack dab in the middle of their safe haven.

“Oh, Christ,” Regina curses under her breath, pulling a blade out of boiling water and slicing her own arm. “You better be worth it, Padalecki,” she challenges. With her blood in Jensen’s system, he’s fit for testing and Jared makes use of that time when Jensen seems almost human.

Regina watches cautiously from the corner of the room. She might be the one feeding Jensen her living blood cells, but she’s guarded, arms crossed over her chest as she observes.

Thankfully, Theo’s been too busy with other going-ons around the compound and he hasn’t bothered to micro-manage Jared’s study. It’s a good thing because Jared has no idea what he’s doing. He knows Theo is a complete ass to him, but the man has faith that Jared’s brain will figure this out. Without the pressure of Theo’s glare, Jared is settled enough to start out where any normal exam would.

Jeremy glowers from the other corner, chewing on the inside of his check and fingering the hilt of a dagger. The weight of his stare is intense and Jared almost hates himself for understanding why Theo insists a gunman is watching Jared’s back at all times. Regina’s blood courses through Jensen’s system and he’s docile, making it easy for Jared to forget that he could kill in one brutal bite. And Jared hates that has to keep remembering that Jensen isn’t like the rest of the human’s at Dead Corps, that Jensen is someone he might need to use a weapon against.

What type of person has Jared become that he feels safer in the fact his test subject comes with an execution if need be?

“Jared, are you going to fucking do something? There’s a thousand corpses out there trying to get a bite of Dead Corps meat and I’d really like to kill a few hundred before we lose daylight.” Jeremy scratches at his heavily whiskered beard, narrowing his eyes as Jared. He’s in his thirties but the kill-or-be-killed lifestyle he now relies on has taken a toll. There are deeper wrinkles in the corners of his eyes and his features are rough around the edges, hardened into someone who doesn’t give a shit about much more than staying alive.

“By all mean, Jeremy, you can take over. Wanna check his vitals? Get up close and personal?” It’s a dig, and Jared means it as such. He gives Jensen a nod to remind him that he hasn’t forgotten about him.

Jeremy’s only response is a snort and he solidifies his stance and sticks it.

Turning his back on his new bodyguard, Jared faces Jensen spot on. The man is sitting on a battered table, legs dangling from it as he gives Jared a curious stare. “Right…so…I need to know what I am working with. Can I?” He holds up an ophthalmoscope like a sign of peace.

“Mmm hmm,” Jensen nods.

Jared proceeds with caution, holding the light up to Jensen’s eyes. The pupils don’t dilate in the slightest, but Jensen hisses. Then focuses on other reflexes, shifting Jensen’s joints and noting they are stiff. Jensen barely reacts. “Can you feel this?”

“Yeah. But…it’s not like it used to be. I…I used to be ticklish behind my knees. The fact that I didn’t just kick you in the face for touching me there is a bit unsettling.” Jensen frowns and clenches his fists.

Jared wants to spill medical jargon about what could have deadened Jensen’s tickle reflex but what he gets out is, “me too.”

“Huh?”

“The ticklish thing…behind the knees. Me too. I gave my elementary school nurse a bloody nose when I kicked her.” Jared laughs despite the fact that he’s terrified the parts of Jensen’s legs he’s examining show signs of rigor mortis.

Jensen seems oblivious and hums in thought. “Elementary school…shit…I never thought there would be a day where I said I wish I could go back to elementary school. Things were so much simpler then.”

Jared lets the conversation keep him from freaking out completely. By all means, Jensen’s body shouldn’t be up and about. “Yeah, there was electricity.”

“And fast food and a cold beer.” Jensen smirks at the thought but seems to regret it, his body reminding him about the adverse reaction he had to anything defined as normal human food.

“And nights where the biggest problem I had was making sure I had clean clothing to wear,” Jared laughs.

“And I wasn’t dead.” The humor that Jensen started the sentence with fades out into serious sadness. He looks up at Jared once before twisting his head away so he doesn’t have to see the confliction on Jared’s face as he reaches to examine Jensen’s chest.

The conversation goes silent after that. There are things to do and even more to learn.

By then end of it all, he’s learned that Jensen is, in medical terms, dead. His pulse is practically non-existent. It is, however, there. It’s not gone. His heart pumps at erratic spaced out intervals of time, moving blood that’s not getting nearly enough oxygen because Jensen’s not breathing regularly either. The man’s body does have the impulse to breath, but it’s about as erratic as his heart. He’s cold to the touch but he can feel. He flinches when Jared twists his arm to get a better look at the wound that isn’t going to heal and that sparks something in Jared.

None of the zombies he’d ever observed showed signs of registering pain. They seemed numb to it, blinding forging forward. Even bullet wounds don’t put them down unless it’s a solid head shot.

Jensen isn’t like them.

Jensen feels everything. He’s consumed with pain. Even after eating, it’s a dull throb in ever crevice of his being.

It’s a quick connection for Jared. Zombies _do_ in fact feel pain, but their brains are completely shot. They reanimate and don’t feel the pain of what their slowed heartbeat and shallow breathing is doing to them. By all means, they should be dead or in a coma or _something_. Jared’s throwing out all the medical knowledge he has because he’s only seen this behavior in amphibians who put themselves in a coma for self-preservation during winter months, essentially dying until they’ve got a chance at life again.

Jared refuses to take supernatural phenomenon into consideration. He _knows_ there is a scientific reason for the virus and what it’s doing to people. If comparing Jensen to a frog is the best theory he has right now, he going to go for it. But why? Why is it happening?

He’ll find out, but it gives him another problem. They’ve acknowledged that Jensen can feel pain, which is why actively testing on him is so hard.

The tests are painful, there is no way around that.

But Jensen insists. He screams and clenches his eyes shut and wishes he would die but he doesn’t tell Jared to stop. He gets needles shoved in his brain and stomach. Electric shocks run through him and try to jolt his heart back into a normal rhythm. It’s torture wearing the disguise of scientific research.

At night, when Jared closes his eyes, he sees Jensen’s green gaze pleading with him for help. It’s the worst nightmare of all of them.

***

Jensen would cry if he could, but that part of his body doesn’t seem to work anymore.

Dead Corps has thrown him into a cell, iron bars that they never let him leave. People stare at him like he’s an animal and he supposes it makes them feel justified in the fact that they treat him the same way.

Jensen won’t let himself become the animal they think he is. It’s exhausting work, harder than he realized when he took it on, but they’ve never met someone like Jensen. He’s a stubborn son of a bitch who won’t back down. Ever. He goes over equations in his head, things he remembers from college and his job. He won’t let himself forget them even though his brain seems to have more lag time with each passing day. There are days where he rattles off facts and statistics or tries to name the presidents in order of the time they served, forcing himself to name them all until the most recent one before organized government dropped off the planet.

Jensen tries to remember his family and what humanity looked like because he sure as hell can’t find it in his cell.

The only person who has treated him with some type of compassion is Jared. Jensen’s learned that the kid isn’t much younger than him but age doesn’t matter in this world anymore. People age fast or get left in the dust. Jared’s seemed to adapt but he isn’t as cruel as the people who run the places. Jared’s superior, Dr. Theo, seems fascinated with Jensen but unable to comprehend that Jensen was – _is_ – a person. Theo will only interact with Jensen if he’s chained up, shackles tight and unrelenting. He shoves needles into Jensen, tries to figure out what makes him tick, all while staying deaf to the sound of Jensen’s screams.

But Jared is different. He brings Jensen blood like the other scientists, but he has the thoughtfulness to put it in a chipped ceramic mug like Jensen’s still a civilized being. He talks to him about things that don’t impact their study, such as the fact that they both had a sister and brother who succumb to the disease and may or may not be out among the undead scratching to get into the compound.

Jared doesn’t trust Jensen completely, that much is obvious, but Jensen can’t blame him. After all, Jensen did try to take a bite out of him on more than one occasion. That impulse is one he has under control most of the time, but sometimes it’s boiling under the surface of his skin, waiting to consume him. It’s always there and Jensen’s exhausting himself as he tries to remember he’s human. His name is Jensen Ackles and he’s a survivor. He’s going to beat this.

But the monster in his blood is making his world confusing. He’s starting to feel more like the people keeping him in the cage are the real monstrosities.

Living like the undead comes with a bunch of confliction. He hates himself but doesn’t want to stop existing, even in his current form. He feels nothing and everything at the same time: completely empty except for the all-encompassing pain he’s living with. When he feels like he’s losing his grip on who he is, his world spins and colors bleed into one another. He can’t stop himself from becoming the animal he’s trying to prove that he isn’t.

He has outbreaks and the guards control him by shocking him with anything they can get their hands on. The current runs through him but the pain brings him back to himself. As much as the pain is consuming him, it’s comforting in the sense that it’s a feeling. He can still experience feelings.

“Jensen?” Jared calls, giving Jensen enough of a warning to make up for the man’s diminishing reaction time. “Jensen?”

“Hmm?” Jensen makes his way towards the bars, relieved that it’s just Jared this time. “Jared.”

“Hi. How you doing?”

“Still dead. So…not great.” Jensen moves aside, letting Jared enter the cell. Jared is the only one who will enter the cell if Jensen’s not chained up. Most of the other guards force Jensen to fit himself with the shackles they keep in the corner of the room before they even think about unlocking the cell. “What delightful torture do you have lined up for me today?”

“I…” Jared starts and then snaps his mouth shut in thought. He enters the cell and makes sure the door latches behind him. “I don’t have a test…I’m not even sure what test I can run. We’ve done everything. Done a battery of tests on your brain material and your blood. It just doesn’t make sense. The tissue isn’t technically dead. It’s more like it’s static. Frozen. But you’re getting worse.” He pauses when he realizes that the new he’s delivered isn’t the easiest to hear. “I mean, come on, who are we fooling? You know you are.”

Jensen slumps against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. “I know. You’re right. It’s getting harder to stay human. It’s just, people like Theo and Jeremy, they make it so much easier for the hunger to come out. Fuck, Jared, _it’s always there_.”

“I know…but…you can control it, right? I’ve seen you control it now that you know it’s not _who_ you are.” Jared shoves his hands in the pockets of a dingy lab coat. “Please tell me you can control it. Because we need a breakthrough, Jensen. Time’s ticking and I’m coming up empty.”

“Control the hunger? Not completely but I can stay sentient. I can control that. Sometimes it’s harder but pain always brings me back, knocks me down to my senses.” Shrugging, Jensen paces the cell. He’s got to keep moving or he’ll regret it once his muscles start stiffening up.

Jared’s eyes light up and he smiles. “Thank god.” He licks his lips and fishes around in his pocket. “I’ve seen you do it. Seen how the guards get you back in the right frame of mind. But, the problem with their tactics is that they’re brutal. I’m trying to keep you around to help save the world, not kill you.”

“Dead already,” Jensen quips.

“No. You’re not. Not completely. You and I gotta keep remembering that.” Jared holds up a finger in warning before returning his hand to his pocket and pulling out an ordinary looking wrist watch. “I made you something. Well, Jeanie helped. She’s much better with mechanical elements of things than I am.”

“You made me a watch?” Jensen asks in confusion.

“Not just any watch. It’s…well…here,” Jared reaches out to take Jensen’s hand but he hesitates. The resulting movement has Jared’s hand hovering cautiously around Jensen’s personal space.

“I won’t bite. Promise.” Jensen feels bad that he even has to give the reassurance.

Jared’s eyes sadden and he runs a hand though his mop of hair. He shakes himself out of his fear and nods. “I know you won’t,” he says in earnest. This time, when Jared reaches out, he grabs Jensen’s wrist. There is a bit of shock in the fact that Jared’s warm skin collides with Jensen’s lack of body head but they push past it and Jared fastens the watch to Jensen’s wrist. “It’s not just a watch. It’s a way to help manage your outbursts. I set it up so that it can give you a small electric shock at whatever intervals you set it. It’s just enough to remind you that you can control yourself. You can be the person you _are_. I set it up to go off every hour but you can use the dials to speed it up or slow it down.”

Jensen twists his wrist in wonder. “You made this for me?”

“Yeah. It’s no big deal,” Jared says as he takes a seat on the bench lining the wall. “ _Trust me_. After what I put you through? It’s the least I can do.”

Jensen stares at the watch. It means more than just keeping his humanity. It means he’s not the only one who believes in himself. Jared’s on his side. “Jared?”

“Yeah?”

“I need you to promise me something.”

“What?”

“I need you to promise you’ll keep going. You’ll keep trying to cure this thing. You’ll do anything you have to do. Even if I won’t survive it.”

“Jensen, I – ”

“No. Listen. You need to keep going. No matter how invasive the tests are. And if there’s no hope? You need to shoot me in the head. I want you to promise me that.”

“If I don’t cure this thing, then I think we’re both going to have a bullet in our heads. The dead are creeping in on us and we’ve got to move out sooner rather than later.” Jared pinches the bridge of his nose and leans forward so that his elbows are propped on his knees, his hand cradled in his hands. “I just want to figure this thing out.” The words come out as desperate and exhausted. “Jensen, I’ve been trying but, _I’m tired_. I know I shouldn’t be complaining to you about this. Trust me. I know that you’re in too deep. But I’m just _tired_ of everything. This isn’t living. This isn’t surviving. This is penance.”

“Padalecki!” Theo’s voice booms down the corridor. “Get your ass out here.” He jogs around the corner, skidding short in front of Jensen’s cell. His face betrays his composure, the color drained. “Lock that _thing_ up and come with me. We’ve got a new test subject for you. Figured you were right about using the CPB on this one.” He hitches a thumb towards Jensen. “Wanted to give you a chance to do more tests. But you gotta get a move on it. He’s losing blood fast and I think he might turn a lot faster than usual.” His voice wavers with something close to regret.

Jensen curls his lip, about to bark his discontent at being called a “thing”. Jared beats him to the punch, shoving Jensen aside and purposely not locking him up before he pulls the cell open.

“Do you really care about curing this thing or do you just enjoy torturing people?” Jared’s internal struggle is apparent on his face and he sets his features in a scowl.

“Jared, go.” Jensen keeps his eyes locked on Theo as he speaks. “But, promise me. Okay? Save the world. I’ll keep being human but we’re running out of time.” He holds out his watch, hoping is serves as a reminder.

Theo doesn’t wait for an answer. He grabs Jared by the elbow and pulls him clear out of the cell, slamming the door shut on Jensen’s face. “He might be one of them but I gotta give it to him, he’s right; we are running out time.”

The two of them rush down the hall, Jared getting shoved to go faster. He trips along, expecting to find a stranger on the other side of the wall but he’s met with something completely unexpected.

Jeremy is being held down in the middle of the room, forced into the lone chair. His eyes are wild with fury and adrenaline and his left palm is pressed to his neck. It’s obvious that he’s holding a wound closed the best he can. Despite his efforts, blood dribbles between his fingers, running down the column of his neck and collar bone in thick rivulets. Blood loss has made him pale but he’s fighting against two men he used to call comrades.

“Shit,” Jared breaths out, shocked to realize that Jeremy’s been bit. He looks towards Theo and for the first time in his life, he sees something like sorrow in the man’s eyes. Jeremy is the man’s best operative, watching the zombie virus ravish through a valuable asset has Theo ill-at-ease.

“Mother fuckers!” Jeremy curses, hiss in a type of pain that is strong enough to make him squeeze his eyes shut.

Jared fumbles for words. “What happened?”

“Squad was out patching a break on the west side of the compound. They momentarily overpowered us before we annihilated them,” an armed man says. “It was a moment too long. Jeremy took a bite to the neck before my bullet killed the fucker who attacked him.”

“Jared,” Theo states, stepping in front of Jared’s line of view. “He’s infected. You know that. He’s going to die, whether it be due to the virus or a bullet from my own gun. But we can use him. He can help us speed up the testing process. You can work on him. Don’t waste the opportunity.” It’s a suggestion and an order all in one.

Hooking the CPB machine to Jensen had been hard enough and he hadn’t known the man. No matter how big of a dick Jeremy had been, he’s a good man, a man who kept Dead Corps safe. Condemning Jeremy to be a test subject now that he knew how much pain it caused seemed like a violation. “Theo…I can’t…he’s – ”

“You can and you will.” Theo pushes a pointer finger into Jared’s chest. They stare at each other in a silent battle.

Jeremy breaks them apart when he speaks, voice gravely and strain. “Do it.” He forces his eyes open and stares at the men. He looks distressed, eyes conflicting with the words coming out of his mouth. “Do it. Life support…the whole nine yards. Test on me.” A disturbing laugh leaves his mouth before he coughs bloody spittle onto his beard. “Come on, Padalecki. Don’t pretend you haven’t wanted to kill me.” He smirks with all the energy he has left, hand holding tighter as another spurt of blood pulses out. “Come on. Do it. Kill me and bring me back. Test on me. Cure this thing. I sure as hell aren’t going to let my time here in Dead Crops end from a stupid rookie mistake.”

In the end, it’s Jeremy’s call and Jared has to admire him for that.

“This is going to hurt,” is Jared’s own warning before they get started on another blood bath.

***

Jared slams his fist on the table.

It’s been weeks since Jensen came into his life and shed new light on the zombie epidemic. But along with that light, came a whole new batch of confusing problems.

Theo’s given him another test subject. Jared argued the most over this one, a teenage girl named Rachel they’d been tracking on the edge of the compound. But now that Theo knew Jared’s secret for keeping the zombies sentient, he took the decision out of Jared’s hands and hooked her up to the machines himself. Rachel doesn’t transition into a truly responsive being like Jeremy and Jensen have, but she’s there sometimes. Theo’s failure in hooking Rachel up to life support with enough time to keep her brain alive has taught Jared a lot of things. Whatever gets damage in life, remains damaged even then the zombie virus takes hold.

Jared’s staring to believe in karma. He wonders what he did to become the leader of a rag-tag group of zombies who are his only allies in coming to a solution for the zombie epidemic. Karma is real, it has to be, otherwise it seems oddly coincidental that Jeremy got bitten and turned. But for all of Jeremy’s faults, understanding his role in the world is not one of them. He signed up for the same life of torture that Jensen did. He’s not delusional; he’s a realist.

Now Jared’s working a rotation of experimenting on three test subjects, three _people_ who aren’t quite the way they should be. He’s exhausted to the core and needs a break.

Through Jeremy and Rachel are still versions of themselves, Jensen’s holding his own better. He’s easier to work with and Jared can’t help but feel a bond with him, like they’re kindred spirits. It figures that Jared, who has felt set apart in the world even before it became the hallow shell it is now, finds the most humanity Dead Corps has to offer in the form of Jensen Ackles. The man with the green eyes that burned with an intense desire to live.

“Jared, come look at this.” Jeanie doesn’t bother looking up from her microscope, only waves an urgent hand towards the man. “Come the fuck over here right now.”

Jared rushes to her side, silently taking her spot at the microscope. It takes his eyes a moment to figure out what they’re looking at. “What are these?”

“The sample you took from Jensen’s stomach lining. The sample on the left is right before he ate. The one on the right is from after,” Jeanie says.

“Holy shit.” A jolt of adrenaline runs through Jared’s core. He pulls away from the microscope and blinks at Jeanie. “You’re seeing this, right? It’s not just me.”

“Not just you.”

“Holy shit,” Jared says for a second time. “It’s in the stomach. The disease. It’s not in the brain. It’s in the fucking stomach.” Jared pushes away from the table so forcefully that he almost tips it. Ideas are rushing through his head. Now that he knows where to look, he has work to do. “Jeanie, you’re amazing,” he says, kissing her on the top of her head, making her scowl as she tries to push him off.

Jared makes his way through the winding corridors of the compound. It’s never quiet at Dead Corps but the sounds of the walking dead seem exceptionally loud tonight, like they know Jared’s on the edge of figuring them out.

“Jensen!” He picks up the pace, racing past Jeremy and Rachel’s cells. “Jensen!” He finds the man rubbing at his wrists, looking lost. When Jensen’s eyes meet his, they’re those amazing green orbs that haunted him. In the dimness of the cell, Jensen looks extraordinarily human. “Jensen! It’s in the stomach. The disease! It’s in the stomach!”

“What?” Jensen makes a human gesture in scratching at the back of his neck.

“Jeanie found something in your recent test results. Before you eat, your stomach is full of…I don’t know…a virus. It makes more sense under the microscope. But, the cells eat away at everything. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before, like it wants to eat away at your whole body. It feeds on living tissue.”

“Like my body?” Jensen questions.

“Exactly like your body or the living tissue you’re constantly craving. Fuck, Jensen! Eating people, it’s self-preservation! It’s a way for your body to protect itself and use other living tissue for fuel. It keeps the virus at bay and your body intact.” He brings his hands to his head and years of reading scientific studies fast-forward in his brain. “It’s not completely in the blood. I have no idea if this is a long shot or not, but I need you to let me do more tests. I think it’s in your digestive tract. It’s trying to eat you from the inside out. And it’s like your body is fighting back, or trying to. You’ve fallen into a hibernation of sorts, trying to protect yourself from getting eaten away until there is nothing left. Your body is going dormant, so much so that you’re practically dead. But the things in your stomach? They…fuck…they’re what is causing you pain. I need to know why they overpower the body’s hibernation instincts, making it seem like the dead reanimate.”

Jensen doesn’t trust his words. Jared wouldn’t be asking his permission again if what he was asking didn’t come with a new barrage of pain. Instead, he nods.

***

Jensen’s world is a subdivision of the pain he’s been living in. Since the virus took hold of him, anesthetics have no effect. He’s awake as people pry him open, take a look inside and then try to piece him back together again. For the most part, Jensen’s lucky that Jared treats him like someone worth healing. But he’s banged up with angry surgery scars that aren’t healing from when Theo wants to get his hands dirty.

Right now, he’s screaming as Jared investigates his digestive track.

“I’m sorry,” Jared says for the thousandth time. “I am. But you’re doing great. I swear I’m done in twenty seconds.” Jared starts counting down and his voice fades out as Jensen tries to remember what pork tastes like, or chicken, cooked completely and free of blood. He doesn’t remember anything but the taste of Jared’s blood and it laces his yell with emotional pain as well as physical.

He doesn’t pass out after Jared’s done because he can’t. But he lays absolutely still. He regrets it as soon as he tries to move again. Jared had told him something about his blood pooling and now when Jensen does get to his feet, there is a lame jerk to his legs with each stride.

He paces the cell, making sure his legs still obey him when Jared is back, eyes too bright to be bearing bad news.

“I can prevent people from getting infected. This hunger…the disease…I can stop it. If I can get some tools, I think I can fight the virus before it takes over the body.” Jared swallows and licks his lips.

“And me?” Jensen asks.

The sadness in Jared’s eyes is genuine and he shakes his head slowly. “I don’t know. Right now? I have no idea how to cure it. I don’t even know if it is worth curing. The people out there? Their muscles and brains are gone. Even if the virus died, their body wouldn’t be able to support normal signs of life. But…I can stop it from spreading. I can stop zombie bites from coming with a death sentence.” He pauses and curls a hand around one of the cell’s bars. “I promised you I wouldn’t stop trying. And I meant it. You, Jeremy and Rachel? I think the CPB bought you time. Maybe I can cure you. But everyone outside Dead Corps’ walls?” He doesn’t need words to get across what he’s trying to say.

Jensen sinks to the ground. It hurts his knees to bend that deeply but he can’t keep himself on his feet. He knew it was stupid to believe that maybe his little sister or his best friend, people he’s seen first-hand succumb to the virus, would be able to get their lives back. Everything Jared is saying makes sense but it’s still hard to hear.

“Jensen…I’m not going to let you die.” Jared leans closer. “I’m not.”

There is silence between them and Jensen tries to pretend that it’s not because all he wants to do is take a bite of the hand that Jared has wrapped around his cell door. He curls his fingers around the watch Jared gave him and activates it, holding on to the shock of pain that still leads to his humanity.

***

Jared checks his facts three times before he and Jeanie set to work coming up with a rough version of a vaccine. It isn’t a final product but it is a giant step in the right direction. He’s going to need another test subject, unfortunately, but that will have to wait until after he talks to Theo.

Right now, he’s going on almost 30 hours with no sleep, but Jeanie is too. They’ve been caught up in their work and so preoccupied with revelations that they haven’t noticed the odd fact that no one has been butting their noses into their work and demanding answers they weren’t ready to give.

Jeanie runs a hand through her disheveled hair and scans the room. Her body prickles with unease and her voice is small when she whispers “Jared?”

Jared is furiously scribbling and scheming, coming up with a thousand scenarios as to how their next move will play out. None of them have a happy ending. He has to keep thinking. His eyes lose focus as they dance around the room, twitching as he works through the task he’s been given. He’s so close but trying to cure a disease in a matter of weeks is impossible.

But he can prevent it. He can.

“Jared?” Jeanie whispers again.

“What?” Jared startles, arms wrapping around a stomach that is hours deep into hunger.

“Something’s wrong.” Licking her lips, she gestures to the fact that they’re alone. “Something just _feels_ wrong.” She pulls the notebook she’s been writing her plan to utilize their vaccine to her chest.

She’s right but he doesn’t want to believe it. “It’s fine. I’m sure they’re just slacking off. Leaving us all the hard work, huh?” His smile is exhausted and shaky. “Come on. If Theo won’t come to us, let’s go to Theo.”

He pops a B-12 pill and splashes water on his face before setting off on a quest to find the man. Jeanie follows behind him and she’s less cocky than usual. Instead, she’s mousy and on edge. Theo’s office is empty when he gets there, a rare occurrence. He moves around the compound, people keeping out of his way because they know he’s been working with the infected and most of them think it will spread to them just by sharing air with Jared.

Jared is so focused that he doesn’t realize there is an increased occurrence of gunfire. He’s been down in his lab for so long that it’s been days since he last attended a compound meetings. Without an understanding of the state of Dead Corps, he doesn’t know what to make of the chaos that seems to be breaking out before him. People aren’t running from him, they’re scattering on their own.

Jared sees Kyle in the crowd. He’s scrambling, darting in several directions before settling on the corridor Jared just came from. Jared grabs his shoulder, stopping Kyle suddenly and making his eyes blow wide. “What the fuck is going on?”

Out of breath, Kyle’s words are rushed. “Wall is down over by C gate. They’re running out bullets and those _things_ keep coming.” Slinking out of Jared’s hold, Kyle backs away shaking his head apologetically. “Get the hell out of here, Jared. Get out while you can.”

Jared blinks at the retreating man, shaking his head. There is no way this is happening. Kyle’s been an alarmist the whole time. That’s what it must be. Jeanie’s running after him, shouting at him that maybe Kyle is right. He pushes further into the compound, taking the small staircase at full speed until he bursts into the central command hub.

Theo’s there along with the other heads of departments and security.

“Theo!” Jared shouts, disregarding the other men. “I figured it out. The virus…it isn’t what we thought it was. It’s more of a parasite. I can prevent it. Jeanie and I have a vaccine program up and running and –”

“Fuck the vaccine, kid.” Theo pushes Jared, shoving him aside so he can navigate around the room without Jared getting in the way. “The compound is overrun by the undead.”

“What?”

“The herd that’s been creeping up on us is too much. Their numbers are higher than any we’ve encountered before. Besides, food’s running out and we’ve got nowhere to go but out of here.” He turns and points to Jared. “Pack up, Padalecki. You’re coming with us. You’re a good doctor and we need you. Bring the vaccine if you’ve got it but we have less than ten minutes before the dead swarm the castle. We’ve got walls down all over the place and I’m losing men left and right. This place is a death trap.”

The news hits Jared hard and he doesn’t understand what he’s hearing. “But…the people…you’ve got to warn them. Give them a fighting chance.” Heart pounding, he’s already coming up with an escape plan because he sure as hell isn’t dying now that he’s found a way to make sure everyone gets a chance at life.

“I don’t gotta do anything. A lot of people are going to die either way. It’s every man for himself out here. You either come with us or die with them. You’re choice.” He doesn’t bother to look Jared in the eyes as he shoves weapons into a duffel bag.

The words finally hit Jared. He scans the room, notices that the higher-ups were not having a meeting, they were looting the office. They were grabbing anything that would give them an advantage in the world outside of Dead Corps walls. He’s seen this type of panic before, back at his school when Theo’s military pulled him out of death’s jaws. “But...you’ve got to warn them. You’ve got to give people a fighting chance.”

“There _is_ no fighting chance. They’re all dead Jared. There’s no food. No bullets. And we’ve been out of clean water for days. It’s all falling apart.” He grabs Jared by the shoulders and shakes him. “Stop being an idiot. We’re evacuating in fifteen minutes. We’ve got vehicles ready to break out of here but there is only room for thirty. Your call but I’m not risking my life for yours.” He nods to Jared, “I know you’ll do the right thing.”

Jared does too. He’ll let people know. Spinning, he catches Jeanie’s attention. “Jeanie, we gotta –” but he doesn’t get to finish because she’s shaking her head at him apologetically. The fear in her eyes shines bright.

“I can’t Jared. I’m sorry…I’m…” Her voice cracks and she licks her lips. “I’m sorry. I know I’m going to hell and,” launching herself at him, she hugs him for a split second. “I’m sorry. But you heard Theo. We gotta get out of here. I’m not letting _them_ rip me apart. I’m not!” She’s still has an apology on her tongue when she pushes the notebook into Jared’s hands. “I gotta go.” Her whole body is shaking as she backs away several paces until she can sprint off towards the crowd. She’s gone, becoming part of the screaming mess that Jared thinks is made up of more than just people climbing over and clawing one another. The dead are in the building and Jared’s vision dims.

Screams get louder and Jared’s ears go deaf to them. Everything feels like it’s going in slow motion and his hearing boils down to a high pitched tone as the home that kept him safe for months crumbles.

The evacuation is a shit storm.

No matter which way Jared runs, he’s met with death. People are turning on each other, and zombies are tearing into the rest.

Still, Jared can’t stop himself from running. Everyone is congregating in the center of the compound, trying to get near a possible exit. It turns the whole compound into a trapped buffet. It’s surreal and he scrambles to find people in the crowd, but it’s a blur of colors. He swears he sees Theo, holding his own for one proud moment before he too is overwhelmed by the wave of zombies.

Jared should be trying to find a way out, but instead and goes deeper into the lower levels. With Jeanie out of the picture, he only has one last thing to do. It’s crazy but he needs to go back for the test subjects. They’re part of his team. Besides, he promised Jensen he wouldn’t let him die. He at least owes the man a chance at saving him. Rachel is a lost cause, she’s more animal than human, but Jeremy and Jensen deserve a shot to escape too. They might deserve one even more than the rest of the people in this god forsaken place.

Without Jared, they’ll be trapped forever in the cells Theo demanded they stay locked in. Jared doesn’t know how long they’ll linger before succumbing completely to the zombie virus and going on forever in a state of reanimation. He’s seen what happens to Jensen when he goes without living tissue, and he knows it won’t take long for Jensen to lose the humanity he’s fighting for every single second of the day.

Despite everything Jared’s gut instinct tells him, he goes towards his makeshift laboratory, knowing that he’s making the premise of escape all the more unlikely. The deeper he goes, the harder it is to hear the screams and gunshots, the pained hunger moans of the zombies. But they’re there, making his skin crawl and his heart thump wildly.

“Jeremy! Jensen!” Jared scrambles with his keys as he runs. His fingers feel numb when he gets to Jeremy’s cell and fumbles with the lock. “You need to get out of here. The…the zombies…they’re in the compound. They’re killing everyone. They’re…” He’s out of breath, pulling Jeremy’s cell open before Jensen’s.

The rush of the moment makes him dizzy. The noises from above get louder and he stares at the air in front of him and then up towards the ceiling.

“Fuck!” The compound is crumbling. “We gotta go!” He doesn’t look back to make sure the men are following him. If the basement caves in, he has bigger problems than making his way through the infected.

He makes it to an alcove, clear of the crumbling ceiling but still deep in the compound without an exit in sight. His lungs ache from running and he has no idea where he will go even if he does get out of this alive. The thought makes him wonder if maybe he should give up, if the life awaiting him is so much worse than death. The thought consumes him and he closes his eyes, trying for one minute to keep the screams out.

***

It turns out that Jared’s decision to go in the one direction no one in the compound planned on going is the thing that saves his life.

Jensen sees it happen, stumbling after Jared on stiff legs. It’s difficult but he manages to keep the pace. It seems up is the only way to go, but if the two of them hadn’t been so set apart from the rest of Dead Corps, they wouldn’t have been safe from what happens next.

Jensen’s two strides away from Jared when the walls of Dead Corps crumble several yards to their left. Hundreds of the undead amble their way into the rubble. They’re everywhere and the dust that resulted from the building’s demolition makes it hard to pinpoint their actions.

Jensen loses Jeremy in the destruction but he keeps his eyes trained on Jared. Zombies, the very type that shot fear through his heart when it was still beating, brush past him. Memories makes Jensen flinch and try to duck out of their way, but it becomes clear that they’re not interested in Jensen; they’re blind to him.

They’re not blind to Jared, however, and once they pick up on his scent, there seems to be no stopping them.

Jensen understands that hunger and sympathizes with them, but he’s human enough to know he has to stop them. “Jared!!!”

Turning in time to see the hoard approaching him, Jared’s eyes go wide and he stumbles back until he’s up against the wall, effectively becoming a sitting duck. “Jen-Jensen…I…”

“Get in the corner. Make yourself as small as you can.” Even Jensen’s virus riddled form knows that telling Jared to make himself as small as possible is a long shot.

Thankfully, Jared doesn’t question it. He sinks to the ground in one fluid motion and pulls his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. Once he’s in place, Jensen uses all of his determination to throw himself over Jared’s body, pressing close and blanketing him. “Stay quiet,” he whispers. Keeping himself around Jared is easy at first but as Jared’s humanity and the pulse of his blood is unavoidable, it become a herculean effort. Even still, Jensen doesn’t budge.

They’re like that for a long time. The dead walk right past them, wandering through the carcass of Dead Corps and passing through to the other side on their blind journey. Zombies trample him. Pieces of the building fall on him. Jensen feels pain and sensations but he doesn’t feel things like he used to. Things are in ruins by the time Jensen deems it safe for Jared, in all his human glory.

Jared stands up, shakes himself off. Surveying the area, he finds that everything he once knew is decimated. There are bodies everywhere, human and the dead, making fear bubble up in Jared that the fresh corpses will reanimate any minute. “Oh my god…” He looks towards Jensen who is still awkwardly crouched on the floor.

Jensen sees what has Jared spooked. There is a shard of bone poking out from his leg and his other one is twisted awkwardly. If he could feel shock, he’s sure he would be in it right now. Instead, he stupidly asks, “Shouldn’t I be able to feel that? I mean…I should be, right?” The look in Jared’s eyes say it all. He knows things are worse than they look.

Jared’s lie is a bad one. Shock hits him and he’s shaking as he reaches out a hand and pushes the protruding bone back into place as best he can. “N-no. You’re fine. _You’re fine_. It’s going to be okay…I can fix this. I just…I need to get us out of here. Somewhere….somewhere else.” He tries to pull Jensen up. It’s a struggle but he eventually manages to balance Jensen on his two feet. “See?”

Jensen tries to smile. “Yeah.” There is pain rolling in his gut, the pain of living like a half human – half zombie, but it’s not the pain of a broken leg. That type of pain doesn’t come across. He’s had a sneaking suspicion for days that his legs were going, but this confirms it. Regardless, when he shuffles, he’s able to move forward. “Yeah.” He looks over his shoulder and sees another wave of zombies. “Jared, you have to get out of here.”

Shaking his head violently, Jared refuses. “No. No way. You saved my life, Jensen. And I’m going to find a way to save yours. Find a place with people who will listen to me. People who want to stop the virus and cure you.” Clearing his throat, Jared pats the pocket where he has the preliminary vaccine. “You and me…we can cure it. Find a way to make you human.”

“You don’t have to do this…”

“I do. I may have done some things I am not proud of in the name of survival but I’m done with that. And…I think I’d really like to get to know you.” He shrugs, voice shaking like he’s on the edge of lunacy himself. “You know, when you’re not trying to bite my face off.” Holding up a hand, he warns, “don’t fight me on this.”

“Somehow,” Jensen starts, feeling more hopefully than he has in weeks, “I think I would lose that fight.”

“You would.” Jared tries to pick a course of action. There is a jeep covered in rubble not far off. “Come on…I’m done with this place.”

Jensen nods, pressing the button on his watch to make sure he’s still human enough to feel faith. He’ll stay human until Jared’s safe so that the man’s work can cure this planet of what’s plaguing it.

And then maybe he’ll hang on long enough until Jared can cure him.

***

**EPILOGUE – 6 Months Later**

Jensen’s existence explodes into consciousness.

He’s gasping, lungs expanding until the point that they feel like bursting.

Waves of electric current rush through him, making his whole body vibrate.

His limbs are numb and on fire at the same time and he feels his back go rigid. He wants to scream but he can’t. There is something blocking his airway.

When he is able to open his eyes, the colors of the world are blinding white before they blur into blobs of color and shadows.

He tries to scream but he feels his eyes roll back. His body rumbles with pain and seizures and everything goes black.

Black

Black

Black

When it’s white again, he’s just as confused. Things fade in and out of his world. He remembers nothing and everything, making him terrified. He feels his heart pounding and he doesn’t know where he is or why he’s there.

He’s not dead because dying is harder than this.

And then he’s reminded that he actually knows that for a fact.

He’s trying to hold onto consciousness but it keeps slipping from his grasp, one step ahead of Jensen. His eyes roll back again and he seizes right before he passes out.

The next time he wakes up, it feels like months passed since he last tried to figure out who he is and what’s happening to him. He can’t move much, but is awake enough to recognize that fact is due to tubes and wires anchoring him to the bed.

“Jensen,” a voice says.

Jensen knows that word. He hears it, lets it travel through his ear and reach his brain. He thinks. Thinks fast.

“Jensen.”

This time he opens his eyes, trains them on a blob of color hovering near his face. He knows that voice like it’s a lifeline.

“Jensen.”

It _is_ a lifeline. His lifeline. He knows that voice.

“Jensen, wake up.” The blob becomes clearer. It has almond shaped hazel eyes and messy brown hair. It talks to him like it knows him.

Jensen works really hard to listen to the voice. He’s awake and he blinks to make sure the voice is aware of that fact. This time, he has more control of his body and realizes he’s not as anchored down as he thought he was. His arms are heavy with tubes, but he’s able to move them.

His legs feel like they’re not there. He tries to look down, and the blur of color lets him know _something_ is there but he can seem to figure it out.

Consciousness hits him again and he tries to scream. The pain sharpens everything and the blob that’s been talking to him becomes clear. It’s Jared. He _knows_ Jared. The awareness must be clear in his eyes because Jared smiles softly.

“Good morning,” Jared says.

Jensen tries to answer but his reply comes in a choked gag. Jensen panics and thinks he’s still dead. He can’t speak. But he knows he’s wrong. He can breathe and think and his heart is pounding away.

“Shh,” Jared reassures. “You’ve got a breathing tube in. We’ll take it out as soon as you’re stable.”

Jensen throws him a questioning look.

“You’ve been in a medically induced coma, Jensen. The…the cure had some side effects. I had to keep you under while the cure worked to rid the virus from your system. You’re legs are shot…they were too damaged for too long. Without your body’s ability to heal them, I don’t think you’ll ever be able to walk without braces. And your vitals are erratic. I’m not going to lie, it was touch and go for a while, but…” Jared laughs and smiles again. “Welcome back to the world of the living.”

Jensen lets his head fall back to the bed, head spinning with the news that his heart is beating with human blood.

If he wasn’t two steps from unconsciousness, he could kiss Jared right now. True, Jared got him into this mess, but Jared also saved him. He would have died as a zombie months ago in a cold world. But Jared gave him a shot at living in limbo.

Now he’s got another shot at life too.

He can’t wait to see what Jared’s been up to while he’s been off the grid.

But that has to wait until he’s feeling just a little more human.

After all, the dead can wait.


End file.
